Withdrawal-like symptoms. I've never missed anyone like this before. we're not even together. conflicting emotions. I don't even know if I like this guy or not. but for now, I'm missing him. good thing hes not gone for long. just a couple of days. but this is extremely terrible. I don't even know if I like the guy but all I do know is that we talk every night & I feel very happy while I'm talking to him. ♥ most might say "are you crazy?? you really like this guy!" but I cant seem to convince myself that I do. its one of my things. I can never fully trust someone, so why would I trust someone with my heart? but I have this feeling that I can trust him. he's been so honest with me (at least I think) that he always tells me how he feels (at least I think). this is another problem I have, I cant even believe the smallest things. I'm a huge sceptic. some things I find hard to believe & some things I question until I do believe. its crazy. but that's how I am. now I'm finding that I'm willing to like or maybe even love this guy & scares me. never been in love. but how will i ever know if I'm willing to? my putting myself out there right? just coming out with it? but what if you're afraid to? I would hate the rejection. so for now, I'll just go with the "flow" of things. things seem to be looking up in my favor. we talk ever night & sometimes we get to exclusive stuff but when when two people joke around alot could you ever really know when the jokes end & the serious kicks in?
I guess I've figured it out, but I'm not ready to admit it. not even to myself. but until I do get the nerve to say it, I'll just sit here missing him until the day he returns ♥
do you remember the nights, we'd stay up just laughing. smiling for hours, at anything? -We The Kings.
music. I love music with a passion. i have soo many songs on my ipod that I can relate to. when I put my music on, nothing else matters but the lyrics being sung through my headphones. music helps me multiple ways. calms me when I'm mad. relaxes me & helps me focus when i need alone time or over worked. 
my musicial tastes are all over the genre map. I used to be strictly hip hop, rap & r&b. then one day about 3 or 4 years ago, I heard a song by this band on the t.v. I started listening to the words Hailey Williams was singing & in that moment I knew this Paramore song (misery business) was my new favorite. since then I have become a Paramore fan & I have become fallen in love with many bands & artists.
I'm not a hard core rocker, nor am I dedicated to one genre of music. the music I choose to listen to is my choice. the music I enjoy doesn't define me. Im just a lover of the music. music is my sanity.
